I could never tell you the rush I get when we touch because the silence between us is far too beautiful to interrupt.
I could never tell you the smile that peaks across my face when you’re sleeping so peacefully because the looks of you in rest are too wonderful to stress.
I could never tell you the thoughts I have when I first awaken because they’re all wondering how you and your days been.
I could never tell you the pain I’ve been through in the past because the joy you give me now.. I hope it forever lasts.
I could never tell you about the people who’ve left because now that I’m with you I’m just so blessed.
I could never tell you where I met my first love because the place that remains contains nothing but dry blood.
I could never tell you how my family issues fucked me up because I think the explanation would turn me back into a wreck.
I could never tell you why I started to smoke because my minds so corrupted you may think it’s a joke.
I could never tell you the anxiety that I feel because I can’t stand to know that reality is real.
I could never tell you the brokenness I’ve seen because somehow it always seems like a dream.
I could never tell you the things I prefer because there’s reason behind them I’d rather not convert.
I could never tell you the things that I’ve imagined because there’s still ninety other things I could never tell you, it’s too much of a blur.
Stay up late and wake up early just to think “my mind ain’t right”
Cigarettes to clear my head just so I can pass up time.
Big brother told me “quit that shit you don’t need unhealthy things in your life” “yea I know i stopped months ago ain’t touched nor puffed one near in sight.”
I be bullshit lyin but I don’t mean to, promise I’ve been workin on that too, school work got me hella stressed but I thank God I’m blessed. Boyfriend lives so far away can’t wait to see him again everyday.
Unspoken words the only things I’m swallowin, haven’t ate in days cause I keep my thoughts bottled in. Anxious all the time but I swear my time is runnin’ out, keepin notes on these hard times but I keep on losin count. Momma said it’s just your head you’ll get through it once we get movin; Only 15 but my goals seem like I’ve lived all life.
4th grade, new at school cause my dad fucked up and we lost our house. All the kids seemed different from me When truth be told they were just full of life. Momma knew you was a piece of shit only stayed with you so Kevin and I didn’t have to pick a route. Finally my mom left your ass when I was in 6th grade I had never been so proud.
Speaking of, I barely hear from my pops. I hope he’s Ok, was depressed years ago witnessed the whole thing at the fuckin age of eight. “Forever daddy’s girl”, I thought I was your little princess? Took me forever to forgive your ass, you’ve turn everything into a mess.
Remember just one year ago when we got into that big fight? Screamed “I fucking hate you dad” swore I never wanted to see you alive but just a week later I was beggin my mom to take me back.
You see, you ruined a lot of shit for me and Kevin & I know you really sorry.. You say I love you every time you see us while We be standing there struggling to spit out.
Noticing the people with both parents sometimes makes me focus on what I lack Because deep down everytime I visit I know I’ll never have my family back.